Forgive

Being big enough to forgive.

I want you to imagine a television commercial in which you see a teenager being mocked by school mates and running into her home crying.  The next scene is of the same girl in a shop purchasing a bottle of ointment and pouring it over those same pupils who had mocked her.  The last scene is of them all in the school canteen laughing together.  Another commercial in the series is of a car crash, someone has jumped a red light but in the middle of the ensuing argument out comes this bottle and it is poured over both parties and the final scene is them laughing together.  Just like in the Ronseal advertisements the man pushes the bottle towards the camera and you read ‘Forgiveness’ and he says ‘it does exactly as it says on the label.’  Now let me ask you: If you were the manufacturer of that bottle of ‘forgiveness’ what would you charge for it?  Would the cost go up or down depending on the hurt caused?  Would the time between the hurt and the purchase affect the price?  What would you pay for a bottle of forgiveness?

If you were the hurt party would you pour the contents of that bottle over yourself or over the offender?  As the wronged individual would you feel cheated knowing someone could pour the contents of that bottle over you and you would have no choice but to forgive? 

If you were the person who had wronged someone would you pour the contents of that bottle over yourself or over them?  Would you feel relieved that you could wander down the high street and purchase a bottle of forgiveness to heal the wrong?

I am sorry to tell you I know of no such product on the market.  I know of no product that you can pour over someone and forgiveness springs forth.  But this I do know – where forgiveness is found and how it can be poured into your life and mine this very morning.

Read 2 Samuel 16, and put your thumb in 2 Samuel 19 as well.  Let me set the context of what you are about to read.  This is probably the lowest ebb David has ever found himself in life.  His son Absalom has rebelled (2 Samuel 15) and taken over the kingdom.  David is on the run (2 Samuel 15.13) with a band of loyal followers.  As Absalom enters Jerusalem David is fleeing out the other side. He heads out via the Mount of Olives and as he does he encounters Shimei (2 Samuel 16.5).  We are not told very much about this man Shimei, other than he belonged to the clan of Saul.  At this moment in time he comes across as a very unsavoury character to say the least.  David is fleeing for his life and Shimei sees his opportunity to add insult to injury.  Look at what he does – verses 5-8.  He begins to curse David and to hurl all sorts of insults and accusations against David.  At this moment I want you to know that some of what Shimei says is true and some of it is false.  David was a man with bloodshed on his hands – some of it of innocent men like Uriah, some of it of enemies like Goliath.  That much is true but what is false is that Shimei accuses him of having the blood of the house of Saul on his hands.  That is not true.  After Samuel had anointed David king and Saul had tried to kill David, and he was on the run, David had many opportunities to kill Saul but never lifted his sword against him because he (Saul) was anointed of God.  On one occasion David when David was hiding in a cave Saul entered to relieve himself and David’s men urged him to strike Saul down, but David refused, all he did was cut off a piece of his tunic and even that he bitterly regretted.  So some of the accusations of Shimei are false, the have basis of truth, and they are unwarranted.  But along comes another character into the situation – verse 9, enter Abishai.  Now here is the loyal servant of David and look at what he suggests as to how to deal with Shimei.  He basically says ‘David, this man is worth nothing.  I would cut his head off just as I would a dead dogs.’ Abishai could not have spoken more derisorily about Shimei than to call him a ‘dead dog.’  Dogs were despised by Hebrews – in fact one of their prayers had them thanking God he had not created them as a dog. Abishai wants David to do to Shimei what he had done to Goliath after Goliath had insulted him – kill him and cut his head off.  But here comes the first, and essential, lesson in forgiveness – read verses 10-12 

Verses 10-12 David got a vertical perspective before he got a horizontal perspective.  David begins by distancing himself from the anger of Abishai.  Abishai wanted to strike now.  He wanted to return the insults with interest.  This man has cursed you, hurled insults and lies at you, he has hurt you physically as well (threw stones) – get your blow in first.  Let him know who he is dealing with.  Kill him David or at least let me sort it for you.  Sound familiar?  When you get hurt by someone there will always be people advising you how to get even.  There will always be people telling you how to do it, what to do and to do it now.  There will even be some who will be willing to do it for you.  They will gloss it up as doing you a favour, being your friend.  But look at how David reacts.  David gets the divine perspective on all of this first.  David turned and looked for the goodness of God before he looked at the hurt from Shimei.  Did you catch that?  David looked for the hand of God’s goodness in this before he turned his eyes, his ears, his mind and his heart to the pain of the words and the pain of Shimei’s stones.  There is the first lesson of forgiveness.  Where is God in all of this?  That is exactly what David asked.  That is what he says in these verses.

He looks at his past life.  He knows his own sinfulness before God and he knows God’s goodness towards him and putting the two of them together he understands that this is a means of God’s discipline in his life.  There is no self-justification.  There is no self-righteous anger.  There is no seeking vengeance.  There is no striking out and inflicting pain on his accuser.  David says in verse 12 – if this is of the Lord then in my distress the Lord will bring good.  If this is of the Lord then who am I to react against it or to kill the one he has sent to be the means of my discipline.  Friends there is an important lesson there too – we all need to have eyes and ears that are open for the Lord’s disciplining in our lives – it may come, as here, in the form of an insult and pain – but we are not to despise.  David didn’t.

Turn now with me to 2 Samuel 19.  Absalom has been murdered and David is returning as king to Jerusalem.  Once again we encounter Shimei – but in changed and different circumstances.  Look at verses 16-20.  When Shimei hears David is returning we read that he hurries, he is in a rush to meet David.  Shimei falls prostrate before David and listen to his words – read 19-20.  Shimei confesses his sin.  In fact he echoes the very words of David ‘I have sinned.’  I want you to note that because it is of importance.  Shimei does not begin by saying ‘well you know circumstances were different back then etc.’  Shimei makes no attempt to justify what he had done.  There are no excuses falling from his lips.  There are no bargaining chips being laid on the table.  ‘I have sinned.’  Friends, some of you reading this need to learn that lesson.  True repentance of sin has no conditions, no words of justification, no excuses and no self-righteousness attached.  True repentance of sin says ‘I have sinned.’  Some of you desperately need to here and take that on board.

Verse 21 – here comes our old friend Abishai again.  What advice will he give David this time?  Oh, nothing has changed in Abishai’s heart. His answer – kick him when he is down David.  David don’t you let him away with this.  Now is your opportunity, the shoe is on the other foot.  Teach him a lesson he will not forget.  Sound familiar?  Of course it does – we hear it all the time.  We see it all the time and we may even have been on the receiving or giving end of it.  But in verses 22-23 we once again see a different reaction from David.  Once again he rejects the advice of Abishai.  Once again David has a divine perspective before he listens to human advice.  Did you note the little phrase?  ‘Do I not know that today I am king over Israel?’  That is pregnant with meaning.  David is saying ‘God keeps his promises.’  God had promised David he would be king as long as he lived and then the throne would pass to his son Solomon.  In that phrase David is saying God keeps his promises, why should anyone die – God has been faithful to me today.  His insults were brought about by my own sinfulness with Bathsheba – they were part of the consequences of my sin.  They were the means of the Lord God humbling me and ensuring I learned the lesson of my sin.

So what do we learn from this moment in the life of David?  Well I want to outline some things in relation to forgiveness.

First, I want us all to note that David sought God’s perspective on each situation before he listened to any human advice.  Each occasion that he encountered Shimei he listened for God before he listened to Abishai.  Learn that lesson – when insults, injuries and pain comes – seek God’s voice before you listen to human advice.

Secondly, David was well aware of his own sinfulness and contribution to the situation.  David knew he was not an innocent man before God or anyone else.  He knew his own sins and failures and therefore had a better understanding of the sins and failures of Shimei.  You see the humbled, forgiven David was in a better position to forgive than the self-righteous Abishai.  If you have never been humbled by God, forgiven by God I doubt you will be able to forgive others.  When you are aware at the depth of your own sin, and the cost of forgiveness for you personally, then you will be in the right position to forgive others.  David knew the heartache, the pain, the destruction that his own sin had brought.  David knew the cost of his forgiveness – the life of an innocent.  Knowing that he was a merciful man.

Thirdly, there will always be an Abishai about when you get hurt.  Abishai will be on your shoulder in a flash telling you how to get even, how to strike back and how to hurt the other person.  Abishai is not of God – so why would you listen.  Abishai harbours self-righteous anger and he never lets it go, as we have seen.  Abishai awaits his opportunity to get even.  David – he waited his opportunity to forgive.

There is a strange twist to this story.  Read  1 Kings 2.8-9.  You know friends there is a very important lesson in those two verses for us all.  Forgiveness, for us as people, is not an instant act but a process.  David had forgiven Shimei but he never forgot.  He never left it behind and at the end of his life he passed the hurt on to his son Solomon.  He kept his promise that he would not kill Shimei but he passed on his hurt to the next generation to deal with.  Do we know that in this land of ours or what?  Friends when you forgive remember it is the start of the process – you must go on forgiving.  When you ring a heavy bell it tolls out a resounding sound.  So long as you keep pulling on the rope it will toll.  When you let go of the rope the bell will continue, because of its weight, to toll but gradually it gets quieter and quiet and eventually it goes silent.  That is like the pain of forgiveness – you must let go of the rope but the pain will take time to go quiet.  But just like the bell, one tug of the rope will have the bell tolling again, one tug of the rope of pain and your bell will toll and you have to quieten it down again by getting the hands off the rope. 

Forgiveness is a decision and it is a journey for us as people.  The truth this morning – you can only forgive when you know you have been forgiven.  David could only forgive Shimei because he knew forgiveness from God.

 The application is simple – forgive – make the decision, start the process.